I'm not dancing
by pen-2-paper-pages
Summary: After Mal refuses to dance with her, River hatches a plan to get her captain to admit his feelings for her and get her dance in one go.


All characters and the world it's set in belong to the brilliant Joss Whedon, I'm just playing in it.

This is my first fanfiction and I'm kind of using this as a writing exercise so any constructive criticism would be very much appreciated whether it is directed at my writing or representation of the characters. So yes, please let me know how I can improve my writing!  
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"Da-dum-dum da-dum-dum," River hummed to herself as she waltzed across the galley with arms raised holding her imaginary partner. As Mal watched from the doorway he couldn't help but chuckle to himself at the sight he was witnessing. River Tam was probably one of the deadliest assassins the verse had ever known and at this moment she was dancing on his ship with her eyes closed, her wild hair swinging about her and a slight contented smile on the corner of her soft lips. Mal mentally shook himself before he could continue on that train of thought. Sure Mal had noticed that River wasn't exactly a girl anymore, but she was still half his age and he had no right thinking of her 'soft lips' and anywhere that might lead.

"Heard that captain," River called out without missing a single step or falling out time.

"Hear what little albatross?" Mal asked as he entered the galley and began to prepare them both a cup of tea. Ever since the events of Miranda this had become a nightly ritual. Both found sleep even more evasive after the new nightmares and scars they received from Miranda and the loss of Wash and Shepherd, it was only natural then that one night Mal had strolled sleepily into the Galley to find a similarly suffering River sitting on the dining table with a cup of tea clutched tightly in her hands. They hadn't missed a single night since then, and every night they distracted each other from their nightmares they become closer friends, comrades in their own kind of war that no one else on Serenity could understand.

"The captain was wondering if my lips would feel as soft as they look," River said with a playful smile tugging at her lips. Mal almost dropped the tea he was handing River as he began, to his great regret, to blush.

"River, what have I told you about going through my head? Besides you better get that head of yours checked cus' that ain't what I was thinking." River chuckled at Mal's obvious discomfort, the poor man was to stubborn to realise his own feelings for her. Men could be such boobs.

"Can't lie to a leader," River stated as she took another step towards Mal.

"River, what are you doing?" He asked uncertainly as he nervously backed into the kitchen table and found himself trapped.

"I'm just helping to answer your question Captain," River stated matter of factly before leaning in and pressing a single gentle kiss on Mal's unexpecting lips. Mal hadn't realised he was closing his eyes until he opened them again to find himself alone in the galley with River no where to be seen.

"Wuo de ma," Mal said to himself as he touched his lips lightly wondering if River's lips had really been there just a moment ago, "that fong luh girl really is a witch." Mal slumped down on the table as he ruffled his hair nervously remembering Shepherd's very descriptive words on a 'special hell.'  
"I'm a bad bad man," he scolded himself as he wondered if he had ever faced anything in the verse that could have prepared him for River Tam, the verses deadliest weapon and the girl he suspected himself of falling for.

***  
River smiled shyly at the intensity of the thoughts running through Mal's head. Even on the other side of the ship and cocooned within Serenity's hollow walls she could still hear his thoughts. She lightly brushed her fingers across her lips, remembering the warmth and comfort her captain always brought her when he was near. Sighing happily to herself River settled comfortably onto the ships floor allowing the soothing sounds of Serenity's heartbeat and the thoughts of her captain to lull her into a rarely restful sleep.

***  
Mal had successfully avoided River the entire day after the previous night's stolen kiss, but the time for their nightly tea ritual was fast approaching. Mal paced back and forth in his room contemplating his situation. Maybe he shouldn't even go. As far as he knew River had never even really socialized with any boys her age, she was probably just lonely and placing her affections and curiosities on him, the only free, or in Jayne's case, sane man on the ship. That had to be it, and as her captain Mal couldn't let it go any further or one of them was bound to get hurt. Mal grudgingly thought to himself that all the pain would be his if they started something and River left after finally realising there were plenty of men her own age who weren't damaged like he was. Mal slumped down onto his bed with a heavy sigh, "I'm not going," he told himself dejectedly as he settled himself in for a sleepless night.

***  
Mal's thoughts were so loud River had trouble blocking them out, a skill she had learned out of courtesy for her crew. The inner struggle it faced her with almost made her miss a step in her foxtrot through Serenity's halls, almost. Even with all the effort she put into blocking out her captains argument with himself she couldn't help but catch a glimpse from his mind of her in his arms only to let go and leave him behind for a clean cut looking younger man. River shivered at the thought of being held in her captain's arms. "What a boob," she said to herself as she entered the galley and curtsied to her next partner, "Captain has irrational thoughts," she politely conversed with her invisible partner, "If I ever found my way into his arms I would never leave."

"Never leave where little Albatross?" Mal asked nonchalantly as he entered the galley looking a little disheveled from his unsuccesfull attempt to find sleep without his nightly dose of River.

"The place I belong Captain." River ended her dance with a polite curtsy to her partner before turning to face Mal. "Captain, you are late."

"Woah there little Albatross, do I hear my pilot telling her captain when he has to be somewhere on his own ship?" He retorted playfully as he prepared there tea as usual. "Besides, I had captainy things to do." River chuckled at his usual excuse before a sudden idea crept into her head.

"Very well Captain, as you have provided a valid excuse for your lack of punctuality I have decided to forgive you, under one condition." Mal handed River her tea as he looked her over suspiciously, he had a feeling he wasn't going to like her condition one bit or maybe if she was going to ask for another kiss he would like it to much. 'Special hell Malcolm Reynolds,' Mal reminded himself before he could get carried away with his thoughts.

"I'm sure I ain't gonna' want to know but lets hear it Tross. Whats your one condition?"

"A dance Captain, that is my condition and it is nonnegotiable." River stated with a serious expression as she let Mal think over her terms.

"Not gonna' happen little one, I ain't much of dancer and I'm not about to step up next to a master of the likes of you. I always said, the only day I'd be caught dancing Is my wedding day and that'll be most likely cos' the missus' will force me." Mal noted the brief note of disappointment on River's face before it was replaced by something that deeply unnerved him. It was replaced with mishchief and a determination the likes of which he had never seen before he met River Tam.

"No probem Captain," River said too sweetly to avoid suspicion, "I must go now." River once again placed a very brief sweet kiss on Mal's lips. River hurried gracefully from the room leaving a very shocked Mal alone to wonder what in the hell she was going to do next.

***  
Mal didn't see any sign of River the whole next day which only added to his suspicions that she was planning something. Mal decided that with the smarts that girl had he didn't want to know what.

That night after the rest of the crew rested safe in their bunks and Mal had finished with all his captainy things, he made his way towards the galley. He cautiously entered the doorway taking note of any possible booby traps or forms of revenge from River for his in-compliance.

"Evening captain," River greeted pleasantly from her cross legged position on the dining room table. She had her sketch book on her lap which she continued to work on with out a single glance in Mal's direction. Mal knew it was childish, but he couldn't help but be hurt by River's lack of attention. Here he had thought that River had spent the whole day thinking and planning on something that had to with him but here she sat after a day that had probably just been spent roaming through the walls of Serenity. Caught up in his thoughts he didn't notice River had left her sketchbook and had come to stand right before him. Mal's heart nearly leapt from his chest for the brief moment he thought River was going to kiss him again. His heart settled back in his chest when he saw River was raising a necklace in front of her.

"Do you mind helping me put this on Captain, the clasp is a bit tricky." River asked holding up a colorful beaded necklace that looked almost old enough be from earth that was.  
"Sure little one, but where in the verse did you get a necklace like this?"

"I picked it up on Verbona that last time we dropped cargo over there. The market lady told me it was an ancient tradition that this necklace was passed down generation to generation, that's why all the beads are mismatchhed. A new bead is added for each new owner, this one is mine." Having the necklace finally clasped around her neck River held up a large clay bead with a blue firefly painted on it for Mal to inspect.

"It's rightly pretty Tross, you're a mighty fine painter." Mal praised genuinely. Truth be told seeing that little hand painted bead made Mal's heart swell. To others, the firefly was just a little bug that glowed in the night, but Mal knew that to River the firefly was Serenity, a place she had come to call home a place she had come to love, a place she now kept close to her heart in the beaded necklace she wore around her neck.

"Well i'm gad you like it Captain because I have a present for you," River smiled with pride as she pulled out a matching necklace to her own from her dress pocket and placed it around Mal's neck. Though the necklace was obviously the matching pair of River's, the one around Mal's neck was obviously made for a man because of its more subdued, earthy colors. There was one bead that Mal noticed above all the others. It was the same clay bead with a firefly that River had made for her own necklace but on the opposite side of the firefly River had painted a beautiful likeness of an Albatross with it's wings spread in flight. Mal was speechless at such a gift, he didn't know what River meant by it, but he knew he would want it exactly where it was for a very long time, close to his heart.

River held up the bead between them so they were both looking at the Albatross, "I thought a captain should always carry his luck with him."

"Right you are my little Albatross," Mal said as he smiled down warmly at River, her own smile made his heart swell.

"Oh and I also thought we could try a home grown tea I picked up on Verbona," she said nonchalantly as she offered Mal a sip of tea from her own mug.

"It's not bad," Mal said as River herself took a sip of tea from the same mug, "It tastes nutty."  
Mal was so caught up on the tea he hardly noticed River was just standing there beaming at him.

"River... what did you do?" Mal asked suspiciously.

"I was promised a dance captain," River stated matter of factly as she raised her arms waiting for Mal to take his place.

"River I told you I wouldn't be caught dancing-"

"Except for one day Captain," River stated sweetly her arms still raised in waiting.

Mal looked from the cup of tea they had just shared to the matching necklaces they now wore. Confusion changed from realisation which changed to a sudden urgent need to start cursing very loudly.

"Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung! River!" Mal thought he was going into shock but even in his current state of panic a little part of him could not help but point out that the beautiful woman who stood before him was now Mrs. Reynolds.

"Mal, that's no way to talk to your new wife, now the missus' demands a dance!" River stomped her foot stubbornly.

"Captain whats the situation," a disheveled but alert Zoe asked as she entered the galley with a gun raised in each hand.

"River," Simon called worriedly as Kaylee and he rushed over to River's side to make sure she was alright.

"I'm fine Simon, the captain is just being a boob."

"So that's what I got out of bed for, ruttin' moonbrain and the captain having a screaming match." Jayne remarked gruffly.

"Captain, what's going on?" Zoe asked, holstering her guns once she assessed the situation for any immediate threats.

"She, River, and the beads, that tea," Mal stammered incoherently while pointing an accusing finger at River. It was obvious he was still in shock after being tricked into a marriage for the second time. River glared at him menacingly her arms no longer raised for their dance.

"I just wanted a dance captain, your in-compliance made me resort to trickery."

"Mei mei," Simon started nervously, "what exactly did you do?" At this question River only beamed.

"The captain and I exchanged the sacred union necklaces of the Verbona tribes. We then drank the joining tea from the same cup and now the Captain is stubbornly withholding a dance that I was promised," River finished with an accusing glance in Mal's direction.

"So Moonbrain and the Captain did..." The confusion in the current situation deterred Jayne from continuing his train of thought.

"Union? As in married?! Mei mei you tricked him into a Verbona wedding ceremony? Wuo de ma!" Simon made for the doorway.

"Sweetie, where you going?" Kaylee asked sweetly her arms still wrapped protectively around River.

"To research the laws of divorce in Verbona." Kaylee hurried after Simon while calling out a joyful, "I think you two being married is real shiny. It's about time you lovebirds got together!"

"Lovebirds?" Mal called out in confusion, "since when have we been lovebirds?"

"Everyone knows yous' two been spending just about every night together up here all alone since Miranda, it aint' exactly been a big secret, except maybe from Simon." Jayne laughed to himself at the thought of an ignorant doctor, before making his way back to his bunk muttering something about quiet.

"Zoe?" If anyone could help him handle this situation it was his right hand man.

"Sorry Captain, I don't have anything much different than what Jayne had to say, but I'll add a congratulations in there sir," Zoe chuckled as she left the galley leaving the newly weds to themselves in the now deserted galley.

Mal was still looking at the empty doorway where his firstmate had just chuckled at him, actually chuckled, Mal couldn't remember the last time she smiled since Wash.

"She was thinking how amused Wash would be if he were here to witness this situation," River remarked. Even in his current predicament Mal couldn't help the small smile from creeping onto his face at the thought of Wash's reaction.

"He would probably offer to juggle geese at our reception." Mal turned with a sigh to finally face this situation he had been dealt.

"Listen Albatross, I know you're smarter then marrying me just for a dance, what's this really about?" River looked at her toes nervously. River often forgot how intuitive her captain could be.

"An accurate deduction captain," After failing to continue Mal coaxed her on with a gentle nudge of the shoulder.

"Fine. You were being such a boob these past few months, always repressing and denying the feelings you have for me, I thought if I did this it would force those feelings out."

"River," Mal sighed heavily as he ran his hand through his hair, "I remember what it was like at your age, I remember that I had a lot of feelings going around and it was real easy to place those feelings on someone just because they were around, but that didn't mean I really felt for them the way I thought I did. You'll meet plenty of men out there River, plenty of them a lot younger and a lot less damaged then me. Dong ma?"

"Jien tah-duh gway! You listen to me Malcolm Reynolds, I am not a child with some passing fancy," River growled menacingly, "I am a woman who has fallen in love with a stubborn pee goo of a man! And this is not me throwing around my affection to the first man available either. I chose you. I chose you because you were presented with the crazy girl, the broken, dangerous weapon and you fought for me anyways. You didn't give her up to Jubal Early, you didn't give her up to the operative. You never gave up on me Mal. You saw the person inside, a person worth fighting for." River finished passionately before sinking onto the floor.

"You saw me Mal, you really saw me, and I loved you for it." River said almost in a whisper.

"River, I can't, you're half my age, and-" Mal was interrupted by a now crying River who ran from the Galley while calling out tearily, "I know what you're going to say Mal, I'm a reader!"

Mal sat there alone and in silence. He gently touched the Albatross bead across his chest. Even knowing what the necklace meant, he couldn't bare to take it off. River loved him. Really loved him, and Mal loved her. Mal loved her for the same reasons she seemed to love him. River had seen the nightmares, the scars, River had been inside Mal's head and seen how broken he was and still she came back every night, unafraid of the things he had done, the man he had been. She saw him and she loved him anyways. But what kind of man would condemn her to a life on the run with a petty thief for a husband? Certainly not a man who loved her. No, Mal thought to himself as he left for his bunk, a man who loved her would let her go.

***  
It had been a week since Mal had seen River. She had melted into the walls of serenity and had't come out again. Simon assured him that she was fine and that they could secure a divorce from any lawman on the next planet they came to. Mal was sure it was the special hell bound man in him that made his gut twist at the thought of divorcing River. Even if he was tricked into the marriage it didn't change the way he felt about her. After fixing Serenity's coordinates for New Melbourne Mal settled into the co-pilot's chair and gazed into the black, one of the few things that could settle him.

"You always loved that view," Zoe remarked as way of greeting as she entered the bridge, "and why, may I ask are you sitting in the co-pilot's chair if you are currently piloting?"

"That's River's chair," he responded immediately.

With a stern gaze Zoe sat herself down in River's chair, daring Mal to protest with her eyes. When she received no objection she pressed forward, "Mal, she's not dead, she's just been needing her space."

"You didn't see the way she looked at me Zoe, it's like I could see her heart break right in front of me, I was only trying to do the right thing by forcing her to let me go, but I don't think I could ever let her go. If I can't at least have her friendship, I don't know what I'd do, and after the way she looked at me, I don't think I can even have that again."

"Sir, permission to speak frankly?" Zoe asked.

"Speak your piece Zoe."

"Wasn't it you Sir, who once said that if there was someone you loved there wasn't a power in the verse that could keep you away from her? Well Sir, the only power getting in your way is you, and for no good damn reason."

"Zoe, she needs someone who deserves her, someone young and undamaged. Someone who could give her a normal life on a planet somewhere where she could settle down and have a real home where she wasn't on the run all the time."

"Okay you stubborn pee goo," Zoe sighed as she got up and prepared to leave, "but let me just say this, do you really think someone young and undamaged could even understand all she's been through and still love her as he should? And as for settling down somewhere Mal, I ain't never met a single person who loves Serenity and being in the black as much as you until I met River. Mal, I would never lie to you, so trust me when I say she need just anybody, she needs you."

Zoe left Mal to his thoughts on the now silent bridge. Hearing it all laid out like that from someone as trusted as Zoe made him hesitate in his resolve. Mal fingered the Albatross bead that lay on his heart as he stared into the black. Come to think of it, River could never be happy with some young, polished, law abiding citizen on some core planet, she needed someone who... saw her, all of her, and loved her anyway. River's words from the week before echoed through his head as his resolve broke. "She needs me," Mal exclaimed with a smile as he sprang from his chair running through the halls of Serenity in search of the girl he loved.

"Tross! Albatross! River!" He shouted, looking anywhere, everywhere, for her. Mal reached the cargo bay out of breath from his ship-wide search. He was about to admit defeat after searching every nook and cranny he could think of butt if River Tam didn't want to be found then there wasn't a bloodhound in the verse that could sniff her out.

Just as he turned to go he made out her pale figure sprawled along one of the ventilation pipes that ran just under the roofing. Her arms lay lazily under her chin while her hair dangled over the pipes edge as she gazed at the black from the ships side panels.

"River, what in the wuh de tyen ah are you doing all the way up there. You could fall!"

"Didn't come here to scold Captain," she called from perch above, "besides an Albatross could never fall, unless there is one who would bring her down."

Mal ruffled his hair nervously as River's eyes bore into him. "Listen little one, I'm mighty sorry for the things I said, I had no right to accuse you of being a child in way of your feelings and I've been thinking If you'll still have an old broken man like me then I-" Mal's sentence fell into silence as he looked up to see River was gone. Mal scolded himself mentally, River had offered him his love and he was too ruttin' stubborn to offer his in return and now she would have none of it.

"Malcolm Reynolds you can be such a ching-wah tsao liou mahng," Mal scolded himself.

"Though I consider that statement to be quite accurate on most occasion, today seems to be one of your good days." Mal turned to see a beaming River standing before him.

"How did you even-" Mal was interrupted by a very impatient River who leapt into his arms and planted a kiss that seemed to hold all the emotion and passion they had both been feeling but denying each other for months. Recovering from his shock Mal locked his arms around River's waist bringing her closer and deepening their kiss and for a few moments there was only them and nothing else in the verse. When the couple finally broke for air River examined the Albatross bead that still hung around his neck.

"You keep me close to your heart," River mused happily.

"Always have and always will Albatross."

Mal and River remained like that for several minutes, enjoying being in each other's arms and the comfort of the other's presence.

"Does this mean I get my dance?" River asked excitedly as she lifted her head from Mal's chest.

"As long as you promise me one thing little one,"

"Whats that?"

"Now I know this don't sound much romantic but I still want the divorce, I love you bao bei, but if we get married I want to do it right and proper with the ring and the knee and the likes."

River began to laugh aloud much to Mal's confusion, "what's so funny?"

"Mal, the ceremony wasn't legal, I faked it all to get you to finally think about us. The real ceremony would have involved a hunting a trip beforehand where we bathed in the blood of our prey and then the wedding would have to be followed by seven days of nightly consumation rituals as we slept naked under the stars." Mal gulped at the sudden thought of what that ritual would entail for the newly weds and quickly changed the subject,

"Well I'm still keeping the necklace then, and I believe I owe you a dance anyway." Mal held out his hand in invitation as he bowed cordially. River returned the gesture with a curtsy of her own and took her place in her captain's arms.

As the couple practically floated across the cargo bay neither could help but think they had finally found the one place in the verse they belonged.


End file.
